Husband to Michele Bachmann, Dr. Marcus Bachmann and his gay repression clinic has got Jon Stewart thinking…thinking about his own identity that has him tormented. That’s right his insatiable desire to be funny. Friend to The Daily Show, Jerry Seinfeld, lends a helping hand. Watch: Source: The Daily Show on Hulu

Hello everyone. It’s been a while. I’ve decided to make a comeback to New World Order because I’m again cowering in fear of what the near future might hold. Like a stray cat welcomed into a new home, I live my life in agonizing, ulcer-inducing fear of what horrible consequences today’s political decisions might have [...]

Hey there, Ernie here, filling in for Dan. As we approach the ten year anniversary of the events of 9/11/01 I awoke to the sound of President Obama’s voice on the radio. He was discussing the demise of Osama Bin Laden as implemented by U.S. forces in an operation in Pakistan. While I’m not a [...]

In light of the recent events in Arizona, this issue of New World Order must take a decidedly more somber tone than usual. Firstly, I would like to express my condolences to the victims of the attack as well as their friends and their families. I pray for those who have been lost and wish [...]

My associate Ernie, the illustrious Pope of Niente Peaches, recently linked me to a certain article on the Huffington Post. This article was about how Ashton Kutcher, (hereafter Kelso) formerly best known as Bruce Willis’ sloppy second, seems to think that the apocalypse is on its way and is training himself for the inevitable Road [...]

I’m a Christmas guy. I love the decorations. I love the gifts. I love Christmas meals. I love Midnight Mass. Far too few holidays have a big, fat jolly mascot. In fact, the “big, fat and jolly” character type is vastly underused these days. Given that I come from big, fat and jolly stock, I’d [...]

An Open Letter to Jon Stewart I know you (or anyone else for that matter) will never read this, but I can try. I love your show, and as many of you can tell, it’s a pretty big influence on me. (Except not the part where I’m popular or respected or wealthy.) I’ve watched you [...]

“I was at the airport today and a man touched my pee-pee. Why?” – Johnny, age 7 That’s a very good question, Johnny. You see there’s something called the TSA. Now the TSA recently passed a law that says people are allowed to randomly touch your junk at airports because it’s safer that way. So [...]

I was at the gym yesterday, suffering through the jeers and snares of the other gym members: )“Aw shit dude, he looks like Brian Dennehy being stood up and zapped with a military-grade taser,”) throughout the course of my long, boring attempt to gain a semi-human form again. When I thought things literally couldn’t get [...]

Well, it’s (effectively, at the time of this writing) over. The midterm results are (largely, but, at the time of this writing, missing a few key races) in. The House is (at least from what it seems at this juncture during which information is still incomplete) back under Republican control. Rand Paul is, for no [...]