Starting off on a very serious note, I would like to offer my condolences to the people of Poland. I wish strength for all of you in the coming months and hope that this unfortunately tragedy will bring your nation together.

That said, the President of Kyrgyzstan, Kurmanbek Bakiyev, was recently ousted from office. And by ousted, I mean his press people are still insistent that he is, in fact, in power. I would imagine Mr Bakiyev has mixed feelings about the whole situation, because, to be honest, I would view being the President of Kyrgyzstan as a liability. Being president of any country is tough, bureaucratic, soul-crushing work- just look at how much Obama looks like he’s aged in the past year. But worse than being a head of government is being head of government of a country like Kyrgyzstan: a.) you get no recognition, because I’d wager a majority of people have never heard of Kyrgyzstan, b.) you’ve got Russia on one side and China on the other, both offering you the swiftest, most efficient orifice penetration, c.) the country is treacherous and largely nomadic. If I were Mr Bakiyev, I’d start exploring other options. I’d rent a modest apartment in Queens. I’d buy a convenience store, where I’d hassle and berate customers in broken English. I’d rant- I’d make oblique references to my political past, where after I would be mocked by incredulous hoodlums. Because regardless of how much of a step down that is, it’s still better than have a shitty, shitty job like President of Kyrgyzstan.

This man’s job sucks.

The pope is in the news again! God forbid the Catholic Church would ever make the news for any spiritual or religious reasons- I mean that’s not really what the Catholic Church does, after all. It tends to crush dreams, rather than make them. With the number of Catholics slipping into the double-digits, the Church has evolved into the world’s longest-running soap opera. Think about it: scandal. Outrage. People coming back to life. One thing is for sure- we’ve come a long way from the Church of the Middle Ages, when the average tenure of popes was six years and most were dismembered before they got old. We had popes like Alexander VI, who fathered several illegitimate children and hosted orgies in the Papal Curia. Actually, come to think of it, we haven’t come that far at all.

Setting a precedent that was carried into the future

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