More News, More Brief

Turkey and Armenia set for ties
In a move that baffles anyone who knows history, Turkey and Armenia has decided to set aside their differences to some extent and prepare for trade. I’m sure both parties are pleased, as the sale of Turkish yogurt and berries to Armenia will sufficiently gloss over the 1.5 million dead Armenians which Turkey had no part whatsoever in slaughtering.

Disney to buy Marvel in $4bn deal
Disney prepares to replace the dark, brooding feel of a classic series of comic books with bunny rabbits and clumsy anthropomorphic frogs, or something. I have to watch my mouth though, as I have fear that Disney will soon own this town, my house and all of its inhabitants.

Elderly skin ‘raises cancer risk’
I would have never guessed, as I always assumed that being old makes you healthier and less likely to die from things.

Africans ‘under siege’ in Moscow
Russian racists continue to abuse and attack the growing African population in Moscow, calling them violent, backward savages. I wonder if this has anything to do with Stalin having removed the word “irony” from Russian dictionaries in 1947.

Fight resumes over Iran cabinet
Hey, I thought problems in Iran ended when Michael Jackson died.

Thousands pelted at annual tomato festival
The tomato festival in the town of Buñol in Spain started when, in 1876, the entire town decided to put on a vaudeville show. The show was so notoriously awful that several members of the audience actually got horrific acid reflux disease from attending. The resulting backlash was one of the largest of its kind ever seen in Spain. There were flat hats and suspenders everywhere. As such, the people of the town decided to commemorate the event annually. However, the tradition of dragging people off with canes ended in 1927 when too many people started choking to death.

Read On!:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8230809.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8230158.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8230504.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8226129.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8230316.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8222816.stm

Credits:

Written by: Dan Younessi
Article Cover by: Ernie Zahn

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